It’s Christmas in CHIRP Radio, and we’re Searching for a remedy for the common carol. Rather than bending to the will of their typical 24-hour holiday muzak channels, we’re spending the season unearthing a bunch of winter-approved tunes that you probably haven’t heard for a while (or maybe ever). Today: Milo needs to return his ex’s presents.

The Descendants – “Christmas Holiday” (1985)

Back me up, college kids: after a couple of days at home, winter break is still a drag. Being home in the holidays when you’re young only acts as a reminder that you don’t belong anymore: the parents have new routines, your friends have new inside jokes, and your new life is terrifying beneath the snow . It’s basically Less Than Zero without the heroin and snuff movies. Adhering to “Christmas Holiday” from the Descendents instantly puts me back into the mindset of these nothing-feels-good excursions back home.

Published on 1985’s aptly titled I Don’t Want to Grow Up, the tune mostly deals with an abrupt separation, however the name, coupled with lines like “she desires beer/ she doesn’t need me,” calls to mind memories of overdue Decembers in hometown Baths, complete with warming Busch Light and your high-school crush and the dire feeling that you don’t have any fantastic reason to feel so sad. Looking back, that the time makes sense; I Don’t Want to Grow Up was the first Descendants record after singer Milo Aukerman finished college, so the memories of his very own bizarre, liminal nights might’ve been new in your mind. Irrespective of purpose, 1 truth remains: prior to the band started selling novelty Christmas sweaters, they offered the far-more-powerful right to mope throughout the holidays.  

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